“Don’t wait to do what the heart needs to do.”
This month, Zen Caregiving Project said goodbye to a longtime pillar of its community. On March 5th, Eric Poche drew his last breath at Coming Home Hospice in San Francisco. In the days leading up to his death, Eric was visited by many current and former Zen Hospice Project volunteers who learned from him how to show up as their fullest selves for the residents living their final days of life at Laguna Honda Hospital and the Guest House residence. For over 20 years Eric served as the Volunteer Program Manager for Zen Hospice Project during which time he deeply touched the lives of residents living on the hospice ward at Laguna Honda and the volunteers and staff who cared for them.
Just three weeks earlier, we had learned that Eric had been diagnosed with late stage inoperable Pancreatic cancer. A diagnosis that left Eric with little time left to live. I had a remarkable conversation with Eric just two days after he received his diagnosis. It was deeply moving to hear how open and accepting he was with his circumstances. It was a frank and light-hearted conversation wherein Eric expressed his willingness to be with the truth of “what is happening.” We both shared how blessed we were to have stumbled into work that has prepared us for saying goodbye to life. Eric seemed truly at peace with things just as they are.
Like many other volunteers, I had met Eric for the first time during an interview to become a Zen Hospice Project volunteer. He listened to my stories of loss with absolute stillness and a soft smile that conveyed his caring heart. I felt safe in his presence to go where I needed to go in the conversation. Eric was a master of generous listening. And, when he had something to say, it was very much worth listening to. He was a gifted teacher. He cared deeply about the volunteers he was training and seeing weekly during their shifts.
Eric used to say once someone became a Zen Hospice volunteer caregiver, they were always a hospice caregiver. Eric was the embodiment of the hospice philosophy. When in his presence, he created the conditions for safety and deep connection. He made space for what mattered most. He modeled for many hundreds of volunteers being at the bedside with authenticity, attention, and vulnerability. He encouraged us to carry these qualities out into the rest of our lives.
Although Eric parted ways with Zen Hospice Project in 2013, his presence continued to loom large. His teachings remain a big part of our volunteer training and caregiving courses. Volunteers and staff continued to stay in touch with him seeking his wise counsel and friendship and supporting him though struggles with illness and other challenges. We have been blessed to have enjoyed Eric’s presence over the years. He is now gone from our view, but his influence will stay with us as he continues to inspire and enhance our care and connections. A deep bow of gratitude to you, dear friend and teacher.
May Eric and all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May Eric and all beings know their true nature.
